Showing posts with label gold diggers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gold diggers. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Looks Do Matter

Hello again my loyal readers! The past week has been ripe with new suitors for me to introduce to all of you! Just after I posted my last one, this one was waiting in the wings!

I'll never understand why people bother to set up online dating profiles without a photo. There can only be a few reasons:

1. They are a fake profile and are preying on the most vulnerable ladies who will email someone back sans photo.

2. They don't want to be recognized (famous? cheating?).

3. They are hideously deformed.

Let's be honest though - no one is writing you back without a photo. Or at least no one of substance is doing so. If you are reading and have written someone back that did not post a photo, speak up and prove me wrong!

This brings me to this week's bachelor. He defends his choice of not including a photo by trying to use some reverse psychology. Of course he flaunts his ex-wife and ex-girlfriends so I'm not sure what psych school he attended.

Beyond the photo, the rest of the profile is also rather entertaining. His name is "Marv" and used the term "auto-teller" which leads me to believe he is also lying about his age. Auto-teller? Um, if you don't use an ATM machine where do you keep your money? Mattress? Freezer? Pretty sure that is where my Grandpa would keep his loot.

Of course his arrogance is obvious in his description of himself and the women he wants to date. Don't forget his screen name - HeirlessMilnaire. He is ready to be your Sugar Daddy!

I would love to hear your thoughts on what you think "Marv" looks like! Feel free to add your description in the comments!

Thankfully he provided his phone number in his email. If you want to give him a call, it appears that 9-10pm is the best time for him. After 10pm he has probably fallen asleep watching the Fox 11 news.

Say Aloha to Marv!

Email:

Hi,
Want to talk about Hawaii?
Three-Ten Six-Fifty Seventeen Ninety-Eight best 9-10PM
Aloha,
Marv

Profile:

HeirlessMilnaire
Los Angeles, CA | 47


Why no photo?
I'd wager that if you saw photographs of my ex-wife & ex-girlfriends, you'd not select any of them as my partner. I see no reason to presume that this pattern is inviolate so, I'm not going to prejudice this adventure with a snapshot. 


We will, however, enjoy a phone conversation & trade pixs before we venture out for an encounter or even... a date. Certainly neither of us is desirous of doing this deaf, dumb & blind. 


I would have checked "average" for body type as that's what I've always been however, the US average has crept up noticeably over the years whereas I've stayed the same. So now, relative to the population, I'm thin! 


I am US male average heightwise, 5'10", and that's the true figure, clean shaven, no tattoos or metallic accessories, non-smoker, rare social drinker, no kids. I've no communicable diseases, prison record, restraining orders, outstanding debts, nor Twilight Zone downside. 


Why no job?
You may wonder why I don't work anymore... I enjoy a 6 figure income by making a few mouse clicks a year that is taxed at favorable rates. If I should happen to "work", any additional monies are taxed at a greater than 50% rate (combined federal, state & SS) -- That just doesn't seem to be an equitable situation. 


For whatever insight it may provide, I proffer that I've never paid a cent of credit card interest nor used an auto-teller. I'm actually ahead on the credit card folk by about $20,000 counting all the rebates, givebacks, FF miles, etc. 


About you: 

Smart. Say 1400+ on the traditional two part SAT or equivalent life/street smarts. 

Slender. The "average" US woman is now 5'4", 164 pounds, 37" waist, size 14, so, I'm likewise thinking thin on your side too. 

Religion. I'm an atheist. Therefore, if you're a Church, Temple, Mosque, Ashram, Circle, etc. attending believer we won't be compatible.


In keeping with the theme of this curious site please consider the following formula: Li Ne C Sn Cl Cf


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Apparently I am an older man magnet!

Obviously the "fine gentlemen" that I shared with you earlier this week are not real (and possibly not even men) but they do share something in common with today's message - apparently I look like a woman that likes significantly older men. This email is clearly a "cut and paste" message that Joel is sending to lots of ladies hoping to get a hit. I like how he throws in international travel - is that meant to weed out the gold diggers or help him attract some sweet young thing? Oh, and he lives in Oregon so there's that. Enjoy!

    simpletalk00
    54·M·Lake Oswego, OR
Hello,

An Epiphany -
I know I am outside your geographic wheelhouse, but transitioning to an empty nester I realized that my best partner may not be near me, so I decided to search in LA with better weather and where one of my daughters is going to LMU in LA. In short it rains too much in the NW, Portland is small, and it is time to move. The good news is I have my youngest daughter half the time so I am free to be in LA the other half (every other week), probably more then you have time for…

I'll be down in LA around June 25 for my daughter's LMU orientation. How about a beverage and conversation? Two of my favorites are Lucques and Sunset Tower Bar and Grill. Have you been? Or if you are spontaneous and a risk taker, we could fly off to Belize? I know, totally gratuitous and crazy, but I'm trying to get your attention from Portland and if you have seen Portlandia, you get it. Of course I am not serious about Belize, well unless you say yes... :)

Have a great day and write back!

- Joel