Spa with Benefits

I got this email a few months back and had forgotten that I had saved it to share with all of you! Thankfully this guy's profile was still up (shocker) so you can enjoy the dichotomy between what he says in his profile followed by his email. Keep in mind that he clearly states in his details that he's looking for a relationship. His photos make it pretty clear that he thinks he is a hottie too (he's not).

His description of the "spa with benefits" makes me think he has read too many Harlequin romances. That being said, if you are looking for a regular booty call that wants to save you from the werewolves and cokeheads I would like to introduce you to....


CoolVibes72
39 - Los Angeles, CA

My self-summary
I am very easy going, funny, athletic, passionate, fit, look 7 years younger than I am (yoga helps), and I am a class clown who never grew up. Looking for a funny, sexy, passionate, slim, muse who is open to my twisted sense of humor and knowledge of the Universe

What I’m doing with my life
Maintaining my sanity through mind-body wellness during off hours. For work, entrepreneurial adventures

I’m really good at

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Muay Thai
Hiking
Speaking Broken Russian

The first things people usually notice about me
My warm and sincere energy

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:
Boy Wonder, The Way, Exodus, War & Peace, Holy Blood Holy Grail
Movies:
Stand By Me, Lost Boys, Basic Instinct, Schindler's List, Mr. Id, Sunshine, Rocky, Goodfellas, Casino, Once Upon A Time In America, East West, Read My Lips

The six things I could never do without
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Siberian Ginseng
Yoga
Sushi
Clean Air

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Appreciation

You should message me if
You are super easy going, non L.A. scenester, down to earth, fit, funny, passionate, sexy, wordly

And now the email....

Hi gorgeous:

I was browsing profiles, tripped over yours, and thought I could steal you away from the competition (werewolves, vampires, half men, etc:)

I just moved back to L.A. from Chicago, settling in, trying to take over the world, and have little time for wife hunting or something traditional...

With that said, I am very passionate, athletic, funny, erotic, down to earth and primarily looking to connect with someone on a physical level only a few times a week......where there is lots of intimacy, reflexology, massages, candlelight baths, and humor....basically a "spa with benefits"

Just looking for a muse who may be in similar situation as me, very overworked, overstressed, is sick of dating L.A. guys who may be cokeheads, bi, emotionally retarded, liars, cheaters, etc...and would rather connect with me within a monogamous arrangement that is transparent, no games, no drama, and we know what we got into....If this evolves into something else, great, but for right now, you would rather have me come over a few times a week than playing the lotto on empty dates:)

Thoughts??