Shirtless selfies and the guys that take them....

These is an epidemic out there in the online dating world - shirtless selfies. It's about time to address this problem with an open letter to the men out there that are taking/might take these selfies.

Dear Guys,

Exercise is important to maintain good health and I'm pleased to see you taking it seriously. Not everyone can acquire a six pack even with a dedicated exercise/weight loss plan. That being said, I don't know that you realize what ladies think when you post shirtless mirror selfies on your dating profile. Here are a few:

1. He is a douche bag.
2. He is vain.
3. He is a meat head that spends all of his time at the gym.
4. He is overly concerned about appearances (and I may not stack up).
5. He is only looking to hook up. (If that's the case, more power to you but just make that clear in your profile.)
6. He has an ugly face (this is particularly for the headless, shirtless selfies).

Probably not what you are going for is it? Ladies will be thrilled to discover that you have a great physique and if you want to make it apparent in your photos there are more subtle ways to do it. For example, I went out with a guy that participated in these crazy exercise related competitions where you would do things like pull a massive monster truck style tire. In his photo he was wearing a form fitting workout shirt and pulling said tire. You couldn't see any of his actual chest but you could tell he was very much in shape. In a similar fashion, you can post photos of yourself wearing regular clothes that make it clear that you have an athletic build. Yes, we like to see that you are in shape but we like a little mystery too!

To sum up, show some class and don't be the guy with the shirtless selfies!

Gretchen


Today's post was inspired by the guy below. Not only is he a charmer (as indicated by his email below) but EVERY SINGLE photo was a shirtless selfie. Yuck and double yuck.

lifttron

25 • M • Irvine, CA

Hello there, I find you really pretty and beautiful. I would like to apologize for being blunt in advance but I wish I could have a full on makeout session with you right now 

Interested in an open relationship?

While I have some great material just waiting to share, this guy was just screaming to be next in line. He had some "disclaimer" at the bottom of his profile so I won't disclose his screen name. Read the email and his profile - is it just me or is he really just trying to butter someone up to get in a threesome with he and his wife? How are you both in an open relationship with your wife and also looking for a long term relationship? Different strokes for different folks but there is nothing about my profile that says I would be game for creating our own version of Big Love. Enjoy and meet Greg who really wants to be my FRIEND (or at least that's what he keeps saying...).

First the email...

So much to say I don't know where to start...Hope you are having a nice week so far.
Let me start by saying that you have some nice pictures. Great smile, nice complexion = head turner. That's why I clicked on your profile. You're not only attractive, but you have the brains, beauty and fit. You look great at XX. You look years younger. Just gorgeous. You rock those dresses. WOW!!! I like your profile because of your positive outlook on life and your sense of adventure. I'm also impressed with your advance degree. I think smarts are such a turn on. I'd love to hear more about your travels or road trips as well. I went to China/ Beijing years ago. I'm sure you are a very nice person so I'd like to get to know you better. If you want to be friends, please introduce yourself. I'm very sincere about looking for a LTR and just one special woman. Just to let you know, I'm a newbie and I have an open marriage, but that's a whole different story. Please don't judge and if you don't feel the connection, I wish you the best in your search. Other than that, I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks and have a nice day. Feel free to ask anything you want to know.

Greg

P.S. I'd be honored to have such a wonderful friend like you. You got me sold on your profile!!!

And now the profile (and yes, I removed my own age from the above message for my own privacy)...

50 • M • Monterey Park, CA 

My self-summary

Being outgoing, I'm going to seek a new friend and make this a more exciting and memorable year. I'll try anything at least once as long as it's safe. So I'm at a point where I would like to expand my horizons and I'd love to find a special friend to share it all.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want to take the time to court a woman. Learn all that I can to please her and make her happy. Holding hand, giving hugs and smiles, cuddling and just being there for her needs. I want to be there for her if she is sick, bring her flowers or care packages. I'll be there for the ups and downs in any relationship. Good or bad, I'm in it for the long run. a friend for life.

There are so many things that I would love to share
You will find me to be very straightforward to any reply or questions you may have. What you see is what you get. If I say I will do or be somewhere, you can count on me to following through. My word is my bond.

I'm easy going and easy to please, fit and healthy, active, non smoker of any kind, D/D free and well educated. I'm looking forfriends first with potential for a LTR. As much as I love sex, you won't find me jumping into bed real quick. I truly believe that you're a better lover if you really know the person. So I want to get to know you to please you. I'm open to any age and race. A lot has to do with the chemistry, mental and physical attraction. I really want to spend quality time getting to know you, spending time seeing the sights of LA, sharing quiet nights and fun adventurous days together. I love a good joke and having a sense of humor is important to me.

When I'm not working, I like to do home improvement projects, camping, see museums and visiting parks. In the summer time, I volunteer at the Hollywood Bowl. I'd like to get back into bikingand racquetball ( it's getting harder to find courts though) andarchery.

I have anopen marriage and my wife is very understanding and flexible with this arrangement and I hope you are too. So I hope to hear from you. We are open to various relationship from friends to friends with benefits or more. So let's start off as friends and go from there.

I am outgoing, straightforward, and dependable

What I’m doing with my life

I'm trying to make the most of my life by setting goal. Life is short and there is so much I'd like to see and do. By better time management and maximizing the resources that I have, I'm looking to live my life to the fullest potential. I'm also keeping an open mind to learn something everyday for every situation, because learning never stops.

I’m really good at

Being a loyal friend, stretching a dollar in this economy, being dedicated (to friends and job), fixing thing around the house or car, recycling, crunching numbers, packing things away neatly to make it fit, and not getting lost, procrastinating, but getting the job done.

The first things people usually notice about me

I haven't really asked too many people what they notice about me. But if I had to say something, it'd be that I always have asmile on. I have a positive attitude.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I haven't had the luxury to read very much. But the books that I do have is mostly home improvement/ DIY and trade books. I'm open to most movies and music. I like every thing fromdocumentaries and even romance movies to cuddle up. I like to try different ethic foods. I'm always up to trying new foods

The six things I could never do without

1. Family and Friends
2. My Health
3. Freedom / Time to do the things that I like
4. Money (not to sound materialistic, but to be financial secure)
5. Love and sex
6. Having a partner to share my life with,

Now for the other six
1. My Car
2. Computer and Internet
3. A good Book
4. A garage
5. Home Depot
6. the weekend

I spend a lot of time thinking about

I think about how to improve myself and how to better my life for my loved ones. Where I'll be in 5, 10 years, hopefully planning on retiring to do more traveling and exploring

On a typical Friday night I am

When school is in session for my kids, I'm active with scouting and other school functions. During summer, it's more movies, out for dinner, the occasional road trip or just staying in

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

Aside from the fact that I have an open marriage and my wife is open to many possibilities as well. I'll have no secrets once we're friends and you get to know me/us better. So let's get to know each other:)

I’m looking for

• Girls who like guys
• Ages 40–65
• Near me
• For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

You should message me if

You are open minded and adventurous.
You would like to walk along the seashore under the stars
You want to go camping or stargazing
Or see musicals or movie matinees
You like kissing and cuddling on rainy nights
You like picnics in the park and museums
You into biking or running
You like staying home and watching a movie or cooking together
You like going on cruises or hiking
You don't mind road trips to the desert or mountains
You will let me give you foot or back rubs.
What matter most is that we develop a friendship first and we can then pursue more later.