Monday, February 16, 2015

The One Where I Try Hinge - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

It seems that everyone is on Tinder. Dating apps will likely replace sites in the next few years though I wasn't sure if they were for me. I was reading about a few different apps late last year and decided to give Hinge a try. The big selling point was that everyone was a friend of a friend or a third degree friend. You would see how you were connected on the app and since it was connected to Facebook the fake profile thing would be a moot point. I've come to learn this isn't much different than the way Tinder works other than I think this site has less of a "hook up" reputation. 

So have you tried Hinge? I'll tell you a little about my experience and you can decide for yourself if it is something for you. Don't worry, I have some stories for you too!

My experience
I would say that Hinge isn't too much different from a dating site. The biggest differences is that it is all through your phone and you know very little about the person before deciding if you are interested. I was very unsure about that at first as I like to try to size up someone a bit more before contacting them. I eventually got over it as you can't move forward to the next person until you either approve (heart) or eliminate (X) the last one. 

Of course this leads into a negative that it shares with dating sites but is magnified. You will match with tons of people you will never talk to. Neither side may reach out, you might receive an email and realize they aren't for you and vice versa. I don't find that I am meeting more or less people this way so it's pretty much a wash. Will I keep trying it? Sure, when I have some free time, want to play on my phone, and have caught up on my Facebook feed. It is a good distraction while waiting in line!

Now for my stories!

The Good....
I think that "good" should probably be in quote marks based on the result. Connected with an interesting guy the first of the year. We had a great phone conversation and I was actually looking forward to our date (if you know me, this is very rare). When we met up we had a really nice time and a rather long first date - probably five hours and multiple locations. My date was very affectionate - putting his arm around me, taking my hand when we were walking, etc. Not typical first date behavior but I thought we were hitting it off so I went with it. During our date he told me about another woman he had gone out with that thought he came on too strong. Should have been my red flag. We texted that night after our date and when texting about setting up another date he told me that he didn't feel enough chemistry with me. Okay, I might not have been his cup of tea, he might be dating lots of girls, etc but at LEAST come up with a better excuse than THAT! You don't spend that much time and show that much affection if you don't feel any chemistry. Hell, I've felt ZERO chemistry and gone out with guys again to see if after the awkwardness of the first date cleared if something might develop. Once it did so I always try to keep an open mind. Clearly there was something fishy going on with him and I'm pretty sure I dodged a bullet here. 

The Bad....
The first guy I went out with on Hinge seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders. We made plans and talked about meeting up in the Miracle Mile area - at least that's what I thought. As I was trying to make my way home in horrible traffic from a meeting in Santa Monica, we chatted about where we were going to meet that night. He acted like I had suggested Mars when I brought up Miracle Mile and then suggested Santa Monica. Are you kidding me? I just told you how I'm driving home from there now. Do you think I am going to turn around and drive right back? I tried to put that past me and we met in Beverly Hills instead. Nice enough guy, we shared some food, had some drinks and then he told me about his MOTHER ISSUES. Including all of his therapy that has helped him deal with them. Really? On a first date? I probably would have given him another chance (see above) but when my friend called and asked if I wanted to go to Yogurtland on the way home I realized I was about 1000% more excited about that. Neither of us called each other which I chalk up to a Hinge win!

The Ugly....
This guy was another early match on Hinge. Like many of these guys, he was a little lazy and would only respond to my emails but not start a conversation. I should have walked away then since later I couldn't silence him. We decided to move our communication off of Hinge and started texting. I was at the eye doctor with dilated eyes and told him we could just talk via phone that night. He still kept texting and suggested that while my vision was impaired was a great time for us to meet up. When I spoke with him that night, I got the impression that we just weren't likely to be all that compatible based on the things he was saying and how he was saying them. Both via email and on our call he was really pushing to get together that Saturday. I was already committed to something all day and into the evening but suggested we reconnect on Sunday to figure out when we could meet up. He texted me FOUR times on Saturday. Twice in the afternoon that said "Bungalow" (a bar in Santa Monica) and "Come Here". Then twice that night asking me how my night was including one at 2.30am.

After that I decided that my instincts were correct and this guy was not for me. When I didn't hear from him for a week or so I figured he got the hint. How wrong I was.... Over the course of the next two months, he friended me on Facebook twice (declined the first, blocked the second), emailed me through the app (blocked), and texted a few times including another 2.30am one that said "Come visit". Keep in mind I NEVER MET THIS GUY. Finally when he texted to wish me a "Happy New Year" I finally told him to stop texting me. Which he did - after he sent a few more texts to apologize and let me know he deleted my number. Not totally a stalker but what did this guy think he was going to accomplish? I hadn't responded to him in months!

So those are my stories. Everything else Hinge has been boring. Have you tried it out? What are your experiences?



Monday, February 2, 2015

Would you like to be his "portal to happiness?"

I really don't have too much to say about this one other than the fact that I had to use restraint when highlighting my favorite parts. Obviously English is not Emad's first language though weirdness might be! If you're like me and complain that all guys like to do these days is text message, then I'd like you to meet Emad! He would like to meet you in "the light of day in a public place". 


Meet Emad
Long Beach, CA | 52

I'm looking forward to meet with a lady who I can start to have a "committed long term" relationship- companionship. 

I'm a college graduate and am working as a professional. I'm drugs and dramas free, with no strings attached nor any hidden agendas. 


I'm a loyal friend and a fun person to be with, whom also has lots of sense of humor and makes you laugh, since, I don't take life too seriously. I’ve been told that am extremely honest and genuinely kind hearted. I've been always a "one woman's man"; likewise, truly know what I really want in a partner and am well decided.


Ultimately, I'm NOT here just to have fun as an internet freak; therefore, would NOT consider nor have time to become someone's text or email buddy.

You and I, are both here for the same reasons; therefore, I am certain that "I'll be someone's portal to happiness", as long as you are serious and are willing to take chances with me.

As an Average Man, would like to be encountered with a lady, who is competitive with me in her life style, as well as, her sexual needs and desires.


Above all, I am looking for a "honest human being", she should not be a model but be physically attractive (fit, slim with some little cushion here and there if that is called curvy) since, I am an admirer of beauty. 

I prefer her to be educated, and possibly with "no child", since I'm educated and have no child.
I like her to be trustworthy, loyal, family oriented, sociable, open-minded and Independent, but not too liberal.Have a "stable mind and be emotionally healthy", and knows what she really wants.
Ladies, please accept my apologies and appreciate me for being honest and straight forward, and DO NOT get me wrong for an arrogant, since the whole point to all this is to enjoy each other's company; therefore, if you are the one and are interested then do not hesitate to start communicating with me in English, Spanish, Farsi or love language.

Good luck to all seekers of love and companion.


AND an email from Emad...

Hello Pretty Lady;

I am interested to get to know you further for friendship , relationship and companionship, and NOT for one night stand; however, I appreciate if you could kindly consider to meet with me in the light of the day and in a public place , over maybe a coffee or a drink, to see if there is any chemistry between us and we feel each other, and hopefully if so, then we can make new arrangements for our future encounters...does this simple request make sense to you? Thank you. 

Best Regards, Emad


Monday, October 27, 2014

Too crazy to be real OR SO crazy it MUST be real?

I just don't know where to start with this one. I usually highlight a few key parts I don't want you to miss but there are just too many on this particular profile. It would ALL be highlighted! He started out with a relatively nice yet generic message (see below) and then there is the big can of crazy that is his profile. Seriously, so crazy I can't imagine this is a real person but then again who would write this up in a fake profile?! His photos had him in a suit at an office which was very confusing due to his excessive typos. I guess it doesn't matter if it's real or fake - it's worth a read! Do you like guys that are good at "county cards" and knows "Fairy Princess Cotton Candy"? Then you should get to know the guy below!

***

Hello there, I would like very much to chat with you today; because I enjoyed your profile! You look so attractive on your main picture with that welcoming smile and your stunning eyes, wow! How are you?




cuteagapito

44  M  Montebello, CA


My self-summary
Good news! Good news!!

I finished my latest personal development training program with fairy princess cotton candy. She has certified as the most desirable bachelor in all of the fairy realms.
This is what she had to say about me:
"This exquisite gentleman is the real McCoy. He is a very smart, very creative, and highly intuitive. While he claims he can't read people's minds, i am sure that that is his secret weapon. The first time he entered my training room, I was feeling flustered and just being a disgusting fairy princess. So, he saw me and immediately told me to follow him. We drove to King Taco and I had the best ever carne asada burrito in the history of my fairy kingdom. So, you see, this wonderful man here didn't know what I wanted but saw, he read in my aura, what I needed and took care of me.
That's a fragment of a long and boring recommendation letter given to me by fairy princess cotton candy after I completed her course.
What I’m doing with my life
Perfecting my aura reading skills. Is not what you weite on your profile abourmt you; it's what your very own energy broadcasts to rhe world.
I’m really good at
County cards
You should message me if
If you are interested on a serious ad hoc relationship.

Open to communicate via text. I will ask you to text me after we exchange 2 emails here.

If you're mature enough to not be offended if I ask you out to meet after we text for one or two days, or because i selected casual sex.

If you don't have tattoos on your chest or boobs.

If you're not wearing stupid mickey mouse ears on you picture, or you're not posing with retarded Disney characters. Yes, dianey is the beginning of the evil empire.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Shirtless selfies and the guys that take them....

These is an epidemic out there in the online dating world - shirtless selfies. It's about time to address this problem with an open letter to the men out there that are taking/might take these selfies.

Dear Guys,

Exercise is important to maintain good health and I'm pleased to see you taking it seriously. Not everyone can acquire a six pack even with a dedicated exercise/weight loss plan. That being said, I don't know that you realize what ladies think when you post shirtless mirror selfies on your dating profile. Here are a few:


  1. He is a douche bag.
  2. He is vain.
  3. He is a meat head that spends all of his time at the gym.
  4. He is overly concerned about appearances (and I may not stack up).
  5. He is only looking to hook up. (If that's the case, more power to you but just make that clear in your profile.)
  6. He has an ugly face (this is particularly for the headless, shirtless selfies).


Probably not what you are going for is it? Ladies will be thrilled to discover that you have a great physique and if you want to make it apparent in your photos there are more subtle ways to do it. For example, I went out with a guy that participated in these crazy exercise related competitions where you would do things like pull a massive monster truck style tire. In his photo he was wearing a form fitting workout shirt and pulling said tire. You couldn't see any of his actual chest but you could tell he was very much in shape. In a similar fashion, you can post photos of yourself wearing regular clothes that make it clear that you have an athletic build. Yes, we like to see that you are in shape but we like a little mystery too!

To sum up, show some class and don't be the guy with the shirtless selfies!

Gretchen


Today's post was inspired by the guy below. Not only is he a charmer (as indicated by his email below) but EVERY SINGLE photo was a shirtless selfie. Yuck and double yuck.


lifttron

25  M  Irvine, CA

Hello there, I find you really pretty and beautiful. I would like to apologize for being blunt in advance but I wish I could have a full on makeout session with you right now 


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Interested in an open relationship?

While I have some great material just waiting to share, this guy was just screaming to be next in line. He had some "disclaimer" at the bottom of his profile so I won't disclose his screen name. Read the email and his profile - is it just me or is he really just trying to butter someone up to get in a threesome with he and his wife? How are you both in an open relationship with your wife and also looking for a long term relationship? Different strokes for different folks but there is nothing about my profile that says I would be game for creating our own version of Big Love. Enjoy and meet Greg who really wants to be my FRIEND (or at least that's what he keeps saying...).

First the email...

So much to say I don't know where to start...Hope you are having a nice week so far.
Let me start by saying that you have some nice pictures. Great smile, nice complexion = head turner. That's why I clicked on your profile. You're not only attractive, but you have the brains, beauty and fit. You look great at XX. You look years younger. Just gorgeous. You rock those dresses. WOW!!! I like your profile because of your positive outlook on life and your sense of adventure. I'm also impressed with your advance degree. I think smarts are such a turn on. I'd love to hear more about your travels or road trips as well. I went to China/ Beijing years ago. I'm sure you are a very nice person so I'd like to get to know you better. If you want to be friends, please introduce yourself. I'm very sincere about looking for a LTR and just one special woman. Just to let you know, I'm a newbie and I have an open marriage, but that's a whole different story. Please don't judge and if you don't feel the connection, I wish you the best in your search. Other than that, I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks and have a nice day. Feel free to ask anything you want to know.

Greg

P.S. I'd be honored to have such a wonderful friend like you. You got me sold on your profile!!!

And now the profile (and yes, I removed my own age from the above message for my own privacy)...

50  M  Monterey Park, CA 

My self-summary
Being outgoing, I'm going to seek a new friend and make this a more exciting and memorable year. I'll try anything at least once as long as it's safe. So I'm at a point where I would like to expand my horizons and I'd love to find a special friend to share it all.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want to take the time to court a woman. Learn all that I can to please her and make her happy. Holding hand, giving hugs and smiles, cuddling and just being there for her needs. I want to be there for her if she is sick, bring her flowers or care packages. I'll be there for the ups and downs in any relationship. Good or bad, I'm in it for the long run. a friend for life.

There are so many things that I would love to share
You will find me to be very straightforward to any reply or questions you may have. What you see is what you get. If I say I will do or be somewhere, you can count on me to following through. My word is my bond.

I'm easy going and easy to please, fit and healthy, active, non smoker of any kind, D/D free and well educated. I'm looking forfriends first with potential for a LTR. As much as I love sex, you won't find me jumping into bed real quick. I truly believe that you're a better lover if you really know the person. So I want to get to know you to please you. I'm open to any age and race. A lot has to do with the chemistry, mental and physical attraction. I really want to spend quality time getting to know you, spending time seeing the sights of LA, sharing quiet nights and fun adventurous days together. I love a good joke and having a sense of humor is important to me.

When I'm not working, I like to do home improvement projects, camping, see museums and visiting parks. In the summer time, I volunteer at the Hollywood Bowl. I'd like to get back into bikingand racquetball ( it's getting harder to find courts though) andarchery.

I have anopen marriage and my wife is very understanding and flexible with this arrangement and I hope you are too. So I hope to hear from you. We are open to various relationship from friends to friends with benefits or more. So let's start off as friends and go from there.

I am outgoing, straightforward, and dependable
What I’m doing with my life
I'm trying to make the most of my life by setting goal. Life is short and there is so much I'd like to see and do. By better time management and maximizing the resources that I have, I'm looking to live my life to the fullest potential. I'm also keeping an open mind to learn something everyday for every situation, because learning never stops.
I’m really good at
Being a loyal friend, stretching a dollar in this economy, being dedicated (to friends and job), fixing thing around the house or car, recycling, crunching numbers, packing things away neatly to make it fit, and not getting lost, procrastinating, but getting the job done.
The first things people usually notice about me
I haven't really asked too many people what they notice about me. But if I had to say something, it'd be that I always have asmile on. I have a positive attitude.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I haven't had the luxury to read very much. But the books that I do have is mostly home improvement/ DIY and trade books. I'm open to most movies and music. I like every thing fromdocumentaries and even romance movies to cuddle up. I like to try different ethic foods. I'm always up to trying new foods
The six things I could never do without
1. Family and Friends
2. My Health
3. Freedom / Time to do the things that I like
4. Money (not to sound materialistic, but to be financial secure)
5. Love and sex
6. Having a partner to share my life with,


Now for the other six
1. My Car
2. Computer and Internet
3. A good Book
4. A garage
5. Home Depot
6. the weekend
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think about how to improve myself and how to better my life for my loved ones. Where I'll be in 5, 10 years, hopefully planning on retiring to do more traveling and exploring
On a typical Friday night I am
When school is in session for my kids, I'm active with scouting and other school functions. During summer, it's more movies, out for dinner, the occasional road trip or just staying in
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Aside from the fact that I have an open marriage and my wife is open to many possibilities as well. I'll have no secrets once we're friends and you get to know me/us better. So let's get to know each other:)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 40–65
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You are open minded and adventurous.
You would like to walk along the seashore under the stars
You want to go camping or stargazing
Or see musicals or movie matinees
You like kissing and cuddling on rainy nights
You like picnics in the park and museums
You into biking or running
You like staying home and watching a movie or cooking together
You like going on cruises or hiking
You don't mind road trips to the desert or mountains
You will let me give you foot or back rubs.
What matter most is that we develop a friendship first and we can then pursue more later.