Looks Do Matter

Hello again my loyal readers! The past week has been ripe with new suitors for me to introduce to all of you! Just after I posted my last one, this one was waiting in the wings!

I'll never understand why people bother to set up online dating profiles without a photo. There can only be a few reasons:

1. They are a fake profile and are preying on the most vulnerable ladies who will email someone back sans photo.

2. They don't want to be recognized (famous? cheating?).

3. They are hideously deformed.

Let's be honest though - no one is writing you back without a photo. Or at least no one of substance is doing so. If you are reading and have written someone back that did not post a photo, speak up and prove me wrong!

This brings me to this week's bachelor. He defends his choice of not including a photo by trying to use some reverse psychology. Of course he flaunts his ex-wife and ex-girlfriends so I'm not sure what psych school he attended.

Beyond the photo, the rest of the profile is also rather entertaining. His name is "Marv" and used the term "auto-teller" which leads me to believe he is also lying about his age. Auto-teller? Um, if you don't use an ATM machine where do you keep your money? Mattress? Freezer? Pretty sure that is where my Grandpa would keep his loot.

Of course his arrogance is obvious in his description of himself and the women he wants to date. Don't forget his screen name - HeirlessMilnaire. He is ready to be your Sugar Daddy!

I would love to hear your thoughts on what you think "Marv" looks like! Feel free to add your description in the comments!

Thankfully he provided his phone number in his email. If you want to give him a call, it appears that 9-10pm is the best time for him. After 10pm he has probably fallen asleep watching the Fox 11 news.

Say Aloha to Marv!

Email:

Hi,
Want to talk about Hawaii?
Three-Ten Six-Fifty Seventeen Ninety-Eight best 9-10PM
Aloha,
Marv

Profile:

HeirlessMilnaire
Los Angeles, CA | 47

Why no photo?
I'd wager that if you saw photographs of my ex-wife & ex-girlfriends, you'd not select any of them as my partner. I see no reason to presume that this pattern is inviolate so, I'm not going to prejudice this adventure with a snapshot. 

We will, however, enjoy a phone conversation & trade pixs before we venture out for an encounter or even... a date. Certainly neither of us is desirous of doing this deaf, dumb & blind. 

I would have checked "average" for body type as that's what I've always been however, the US average has crept up noticeably over the years whereas I've stayed the same. So now, relative to the population, I'm thin! 

I am US male average heightwise, 5'10", and that's the true figure, clean shaven, no tattoos or metallic accessories, non-smoker, rare social drinker, no kids. I've no communicable diseases, prison record, restraining orders, outstanding debts, nor Twilight Zone downside. 

Why no job?
You may wonder why I don't work anymore... I enjoy a 6 figure income by making a few mouse clicks a year that is taxed at favorable rates. If I should happen to "work", any additional monies are taxed at a greater than 50% rate (combined federal, state & SS) -- That just doesn't seem to be an equitable situation. 

For whatever insight it may provide, I proffer that I've never paid a cent of credit card interest nor used an auto-teller. I'm actually ahead on the credit card folk by about $20,000 counting all the rebates, givebacks, FF miles, etc. 

About you: 
Smart. Say 1400+ on the traditional two part SAT or equivalent life/street smarts. 

Slender. The "average" US woman is now 5'4", 164 pounds, 37" waist, size 14, so, I'm likewise thinking thin on your side too. 

Religion. I'm an atheist. Therefore, if you're a Church, Temple, Mosque, Ashram, Circle, etc. attending believer we won't be compatible.

In keeping with the theme of this curious site please consider the following formula: Li Ne C Sn Cl Cf

Relationship or Blow Up Doll?

One of the features of many online dating sites in an option to indicate what type of relationship you are looking for - be it casual (i.e. hook ups) or something more (i.e. dating, marriage, etc.). Depending on what you are looking for, this is one of the tools at your disposal to help weed out the many suitors that are out there. 

Then you have guys like this one that sending mixed messages. He does not indicate that he's only looking for a casual situation though he kicks off his profile with sex, Sex, SEX (highlighted for your enjoyment)! He goes on to bring values into the mix and wraps it up with sharing his inner most thoughts and looking for who he is going to spend the rest of his life with. Huh? Is this some sort of reverse mullet? Party in the front, business in the back....or something....

He says and I quote "Ladies at this age if you haven't figured out that all men want sex and that we are visual creatures I don't think we will be a good match." Duh. Tell us something new. He goes on to comment that if you spend a lot of time with your girlfriends that just is not a match for him. Are you expecting a 50's housewife to have dinner on the table for you while wearing lingerie?

So let me see if I have got this straight, he is looking for the following:

• Nymphomaniac
• Hates Donald Trump
• Has minimal life of her own
• Likes to travel
• Insecure
• Does not mind Random Capitalization of Words

Oh and he did not post a photo. Now I spend way too much time with my girlfriends for this guy but if that is not an issue for you, please meet:

bigshoulders2016
41 - Woodland Hills, CA

My self-summary
I want depth, passion, enhancement , a travel buddy and great sex.
Having a woman's attention is a big turn on, being the guy that brings a smile to her face when speaking to her friends about him is a turn on, a random naughty text is a turn on.
Just because I like sex doesn't mean I will have sex with just any woman, I am very selective and very patient, not expecting to jump right in bed I'd like to get a mental connection established before we reach the physical.
Ladies at this age if you haven't figured out that all men want sex and that we are visual creatures I don't think we will be a good match.
I can't see who likes me so instead of pressing like go ahead and send me a message please.

What I’m doing with my life
If we can't have an intelligent conversation together, belly laugh together and break bread together we will never make it into the bed together.
If you have an idealistic view about what being in love should be you are not the woman for me.
If you support Donald Trump you are not the woman for me.
If you are a homophobe you are not the woman for me.
If you are seeking instant gratification you are not the woman for me.
If you are always out with your girlfriends you are not the woman for me.

I’m really good at
Exploring sexuality
Thinking outside the box
Being a Handy Man
Expressing myself
Critical Thinking
Kissing
Understanding

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Nina Simon
Prince
Little Dragon
Shawshank Redemption
Breaking Bad
Narcos
Jay Z
Shark Tank

The six things I could never do without
The Touch of a Woman
NPR
Common Sense
Books
Fine Dining
Traveling

I spend a lot of time thinking about
The woman I am gonna spend the rest of my life with.

On a typical Friday night I am
Watching NetFlick

You should message me if
You are looking for someone to share your inner thoughts with.

Fake Profiles, Volume 2

It's been awhile since we looked at my ongoing collection of fake profiles. Here are some excelent email specimens. Typos and grammatical errors are all real. I wonder if these guys actually live where they say they do! Do you think they might try to get me to send them money? Apparently 53 is the "magic" age for these types of profiles. Thankfully they so kindly included contact information should you wish to reach out for your own enjoyment! I highlighted them in orange for your convenience and highlighted my favorite passages from each in blue.

Miclinson

53 | West Los Angeles, California

Your profile caught my attention and couldn't help by dropping you a quick message,I'm looking to meet someone for friendship and something more. I’d like to take time getting to know you,see where that leads us to. I love being active and outdoors..I'm seriously searching for that special someone ,One who is confident enough to speak to a man and can carry an intelligent conversation.Would be more appropriate getting intouch via our personal e-mails to get to know each other ,if possible get to share one another's pictures.You can write me using the id in the bracket and hope you can get that figured out... (croft.white at gmail dot com..Looking forward to hear from you again..

From: Musah

30 | Antioch, Illinois

Hello Pretty How are you doing today my name is musah and i am here looking for a Honest woman to be with her and spend the rest of my life with her a woman that will never let me down and i Promise her to i will never do something that will break her heart this is my email address respectman750@yahoo.com

Hotjames8930

56 | Pacific Beach, Washington

You've really sparked my interest so lets discover the possibilities together. Basicall, but also a natural leader.I could not resist writing to you. You seem nice, intelligent, & attractive, quite a combination.I feel your existence as similar to my own, with many ideals & interests in common, I would like to get acquainted.I am a kind hearted but strong willed man who loves to treat a woman the way she should be. Well am on here looking for Happiness in Long-Term from this life,how about you?Was glad after reading your profile,I know I'm not everyone's match from here,But you can please do read over my profile & let me know if you do like to communicate to an intelligent man with a great sense of humor,Just don't hesitate to write back. I know it is difficult, nearly impossible, to discern that elusive looks from profiles & emails.... linejames46@yahoo.com and you can text (424) 254-9695.Hope to hear from you soon james

George (Note the different name in the body of the email!)

53 | La Jolla Shores, California

How are you Doing.Well My name is Michael, Age is not a problem to me neither distance.Am a kind of man that would relocate anywhere for the right woman.am new to the online dating scene just have to let you know that it took me about an hour after i saw your profile before i could write you this piece of note that you look damn so calm and cool that makes me wonder if you could ever hurt an ant nevertheless the feelings of human being.Please does the cool and calmness on your pretty face actually lives in you?If yes,I think you might just be that pretty i have long be seeking all my life to get to know more than a friend.location will never be the barrier if your heart is willing to give me a chance.I want to believe that asking your hands in friendship will

make you to be the happiest woman in this part of generation and who knows even in some generations to come.just give me a chance to move a mountain and i will prove to you that I am simply man of my own words.here is my personal email if you want to write me back michaelhart28 at y a h () ().com and i am on Yahoo Messenger on michaelhart28 and here is also my cell number you can send me a text on 2, one, four, 8, six, five, 8 six 3 zero. which ever way that is convenient for you . I look forward to your heartwarming response.I am impatiently waiting to hear from you. michaelhart28 at y a h ()(). c o m.

Is this Overshare Bear?

Sometimes I get too busy to post so just save some of these gems for later. This was one I squirreled away and today seems like the perfect day to share! I'm not even sure where to start with this fella but let's jump in anyway!

1. cbearsweet is his user name. Is he trying to attract a tween girl in the 80's?

2. He opened with something scary about his health. Telling a lady you have the HIV is kind of a tough jumping off point.

3. I love Halloween too but at least spell it correctly.

4. Sob stories about how you are on the rebound are a great way to seal the deal.

5. A strong close with referencing God's plan.

Am I being to picky? Obviously. This is why I figure one of you will want to scoop up this catch!

meet cbearsweet

he's a new match

Garden Grove, CA | 39

I am a compassionate, genuine and very laid back and easy going. Im just looking for someone who will accept me for who i am and what i do. Who wont run away or judge me when they find out certain things about me and my health. Someone who will be there for me when I need someone to talk to or just spend some well need time with, someone who will like to go away for the week end when time get stressful in are lives.

I like to go away and Hallow season and go to diferent Hallowen events, I also like to go to a bar and have a drink or so just to get away for the evening and have fun and spend time with friends and family if lucky enough to.

To be compleatly Honest I just lost a very long term relationship with a women I have been in love with scense i was 14, who just broke off a two year engagement and my heart has been broken, and I'm honestly trying to move on but it is very hard, currently i'm just looking for someone to spend time with to hopefully move on in life and maybe once again fall in love with. Love is a beautiful and painful emotion that everyone one day will truly experience with someone else and it might not always end up or how the way you wanted to, or dream of happening, but when that happensyou have to step back look at the good things that has happen to you in life and the good things that will happen in your life, and soon enough you will be able to move on.

I am truly a romantic by heart and one day maybe I'll find that prefect match you never know it might be you, But the way I see god always has a plan you.

Recent Love Letters

I have no good excuse for the lack of posts other than I've been busy. It certainly isn't for lack of content! Here are some recent love letters - do you want me to make an introduction to any of these fine fellows?

If you are looking for a 27 year old that isn't looking to make any promises...

You come across as very energetic and passionate. I have been single for a about ten months and I find myself seeking new experiences rather than new relationships. Not to sound overly forward, but I think you're especially attractive, and my recent partners have left me wanting more. If this sounds too much then please forgive me, but I'm a terrible liar and generally bad at beating around the bush. If having a fling sounds interesting to you, then it would be great to blow off some steam. For me, it would be a new experience, hopefully for you too! But let me not make promises! :D

If you are into cannibalism...

I want to eat you . So sexy really you are 40 no way . If you were next to I'll not go out from the room

If you like those with vivid imaginations...

951 223 5436 Hi my name is Bryan It's a pleasure to meet you. You remind me of a beautiful Mermaid from under the Atlantic Ocean I can see the blue sapphire that glows within you that enhances me with life force and provides a aroma or irresistible citrus. If you are interested in dating, you can text me or KIK: LostSoulSearching Who knows you could be the ketchup to my fries

If you like those that will open multiple accounts to meet you...

951 223 5436 text me.
Hello when I first took a look at your sparkly eyes it took my breath away so bad that I almost needed to call a paramedic :) but your mystical aura lure me into an optimistic state if I could arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together. I used to be a basketball champion back in the days and used to go to a lot of raves but I have settled back a bit and I am 22 years old and live in LA but am looking for someone to spend quality time with on the weekend. um.. If you are interested we can talk , text ,or KIK. You could possibly be the jelly to my peanut butter


If you enjoy celebrating the holidays...

Wanna do a post Bunny-brunch romp somewhere secret? ;))

If you think words are overrated...

Come over.

Paging Doctor Douche, Part 2

Back in 2014 I wrote a post called "Paging Doctor Douche" which was quite popular. Shortly after I posted my last entry in January, I took a look to see if anyone had commented on ANY of my blogs. What did I find? This little gem posted in July 2015. I couldn't wait to share it with you!


Hey....it's Dr. Douche.

I stumbled across your blog and what can I say..... some of your comments are amusing, but wow.....get a life already! You're evidently still single and your entire existence seems to revolve around mocking prospective online dates. It's pathetic. It's even more pathetic than the people you mock.
You know my first name so we must have emailed, spoken, or perhaps even gone out. Mercifully, I have zero recollection of who you are. Consider that: aside from your snarky wit and sharp tongue.....there's nothing. Zero. You're completely forgettable.



If you have not reread my original entry about this fine fellow, I encourage you to do so. I don't believe I used the words narcissistic but obviously should have because the only way he would have found this entry is by GOOGLING HIS OWN ONLINE DATING USER NAME. Who does that? (Okay, I did that after I realized that was how he found my blog!)

I stand by my analysis of his profile in my original post and his comments actually do more to back it up than to tear me down. I have no desire to actually engage in a back and forth with this guy (is it just me or does he come across like the type of guy that trolls sites and starts flame wars just for the fun of it?) but I can't help myself from making a few comments here.

1. Stop Googling your OKC user name - you are not that important.

2. Of course you don't remember me - I didn't respond to your email once I read your obnoxious profile. I love me some dry humor but I think it's a stretch to say that is why your profile is what it is.

3. If my "entire existence" revolved about mocking prospective online dates, I could have written a book by now not just post every few months.

4. Single or not, I have enough material for years of posts waiting in the wings. Your sweet comments jumped over some other great material. Pat yourself on the back!

5. Appreciate the compliment on my snarky wit and sharp tongue! Glad you also find me amusing! These are all some of my favorite qualities too!

6. Obviously I'm not too forgettable if a post written in 2014, by a girl you don't remember got under your skin this much.

7. Most importantly, thanks for reading! The success of this blog is not only the fantastic profiles/emails I see online but also the audience. I appreciate you being BOTH!

Wanted: Sugar Momma Willing To Give Up Life To Be Seaworthy Sex Toy

This is an oldie but a goodie that I found when cleaning out my emails. I had sent this to my girlfriends prior to starting this blog and am glad I did. You can tell this guy thinks he is SO CLEVER. Except instead of coming off clever he sounds like a narcissistic, control freak weirdo. The link to his profile is no longer active which is too bad because I'm sure he would have some new crazy for us to enjoy. A life at sea with this guy would probably end badly...for him.



You should message me if:

-If you're educated, fit, attractive, and financially independent.
-If you happen to be a climber who can lead 5.10a trad, I might consider becoming your sugar daddy:) This even applies if you're an Avatar fan.-Also would consider 'LA 10s' with low self esteem that wait tables and 'act' in brain dead short films. Wait...actually don't contact me.

Other notes:-You must be STD free and that includes Type I herp. I don't care if 1 in 3 of the population have it and got it from 'kissing their mom' as a kid. I don't have it and don't want it on my lip or penis. PLEASE HAVE AN UPDATED COPY OF YOUR COMPLETE STD TEST with in the last 30 days or earlier depending on how many partners you have had. We will not have any sort of contact until we show each other full bacterial and viral test results. Thank you.

-Despite my very strong male inclinations, I don't respond to messages for casual sex; this includes, but is not limited to, invites involving your lifestyle friends and their white trash bash get togethers.

-In about 8-10 yrs, I'm planning on sailing around the world for a few years. You must be comfortable in small spaces, mentally detached from useless stuff, able to embrace managed risk, have a natural affinity for exploration, dislike cars, hate phones, be comfortable during long periods of silence, find pleasure in staring at vast stretches of openness, not get too stressed when things get stressful, and of course enjoy hot daily love making sessions despite a slight decrease in hygiene and the taste of salt.

Spa with Benefits

I got this email a few months back and had forgotten that I had saved it to share with all of you! Thankfully this guy's profile was still up (shocker) so you can enjoy the dichotomy between what he says in his profile followed by his email. Keep in mind that he clearly states in his details that he's looking for a relationship. His photos make it pretty clear that he thinks he is a hottie too (he's not).

His description of the "spa with benefits" makes me think he has read too many Harlequin romances. That being said, if you are looking for a regular booty call that wants to save you from the werewolves and cokeheads I would like to introduce you to....


CoolVibes72
39 - Los Angeles, CA

My self-summary
I am very easy going, funny, athletic, passionate, fit, look 7 years younger than I am (yoga helps), and I am a class clown who never grew up. Looking for a funny, sexy, passionate, slim, muse who is open to my twisted sense of humor and knowledge of the Universe

What I’m doing with my life
Maintaining my sanity through mind-body wellness during off hours. For work, entrepreneurial adventures

I’m really good at

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Muay Thai
Hiking
Speaking Broken Russian

The first things people usually notice about me
My warm and sincere energy

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:
Boy Wonder, The Way, Exodus, War & Peace, Holy Blood Holy Grail
Movies:
Stand By Me, Lost Boys, Basic Instinct, Schindler's List, Mr. Id, Sunshine, Rocky, Goodfellas, Casino, Once Upon A Time In America, East West, Read My Lips

The six things I could never do without
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Siberian Ginseng
Yoga
Sushi
Clean Air

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Appreciation

You should message me if
You are super easy going, non L.A. scenester, down to earth, fit, funny, passionate, sexy, wordly

And now the email....

Hi gorgeous:

I was browsing profiles, tripped over yours, and thought I could steal you away from the competition (werewolves, vampires, half men, etc:)

I just moved back to L.A. from Chicago, settling in, trying to take over the world, and have little time for wife hunting or something traditional...

With that said, I am very passionate, athletic, funny, erotic, down to earth and primarily looking to connect with someone on a physical level only a few times a week......where there is lots of intimacy, reflexology, massages, candlelight baths, and humor....basically a "spa with benefits"

Just looking for a muse who may be in similar situation as me, very overworked, overstressed, is sick of dating L.A. guys who may be cokeheads, bi, emotionally retarded, liars, cheaters, etc...and would rather connect with me within a monogamous arrangement that is transparent, no games, no drama, and we know what we got into....If this evolves into something else, great, but for right now, you would rather have me come over a few times a week than playing the lotto on empty dates:)

Thoughts??

Shirtless selfies and the guys that take them....

These is an epidemic out there in the online dating world - shirtless selfies. It's about time to address this problem with an open letter to the men out there that are taking/might take these selfies.

Dear Guys,

Exercise is important to maintain good health and I'm pleased to see you taking it seriously. Not everyone can acquire a six pack even with a dedicated exercise/weight loss plan. That being said, I don't know that you realize what ladies think when you post shirtless mirror selfies on your dating profile. Here are a few:

1. He is a douche bag.
2. He is vain.
3. He is a meat head that spends all of his time at the gym.
4. He is overly concerned about appearances (and I may not stack up).
5. He is only looking to hook up. (If that's the case, more power to you but just make that clear in your profile.)
6. He has an ugly face (this is particularly for the headless, shirtless selfies).

Probably not what you are going for is it? Ladies will be thrilled to discover that you have a great physique and if you want to make it apparent in your photos there are more subtle ways to do it. For example, I went out with a guy that participated in these crazy exercise related competitions where you would do things like pull a massive monster truck style tire. In his photo he was wearing a form fitting workout shirt and pulling said tire. You couldn't see any of his actual chest but you could tell he was very much in shape. In a similar fashion, you can post photos of yourself wearing regular clothes that make it clear that you have an athletic build. Yes, we like to see that you are in shape but we like a little mystery too!

To sum up, show some class and don't be the guy with the shirtless selfies!

Gretchen


Today's post was inspired by the guy below. Not only is he a charmer (as indicated by his email below) but EVERY SINGLE photo was a shirtless selfie. Yuck and double yuck.

lifttron

25 • M • Irvine, CA

Hello there, I find you really pretty and beautiful. I would like to apologize for being blunt in advance but I wish I could have a full on makeout session with you right now 

Interested in an open relationship?

While I have some great material just waiting to share, this guy was just screaming to be next in line. He had some "disclaimer" at the bottom of his profile so I won't disclose his screen name. Read the email and his profile - is it just me or is he really just trying to butter someone up to get in a threesome with he and his wife? How are you both in an open relationship with your wife and also looking for a long term relationship? Different strokes for different folks but there is nothing about my profile that says I would be game for creating our own version of Big Love. Enjoy and meet Greg who really wants to be my FRIEND (or at least that's what he keeps saying...).

First the email...

So much to say I don't know where to start...Hope you are having a nice week so far.
Let me start by saying that you have some nice pictures. Great smile, nice complexion = head turner. That's why I clicked on your profile. You're not only attractive, but you have the brains, beauty and fit. You look great at XX. You look years younger. Just gorgeous. You rock those dresses. WOW!!! I like your profile because of your positive outlook on life and your sense of adventure. I'm also impressed with your advance degree. I think smarts are such a turn on. I'd love to hear more about your travels or road trips as well. I went to China/ Beijing years ago. I'm sure you are a very nice person so I'd like to get to know you better. If you want to be friends, please introduce yourself. I'm very sincere about looking for a LTR and just one special woman. Just to let you know, I'm a newbie and I have an open marriage, but that's a whole different story. Please don't judge and if you don't feel the connection, I wish you the best in your search. Other than that, I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks and have a nice day. Feel free to ask anything you want to know.

Greg

P.S. I'd be honored to have such a wonderful friend like you. You got me sold on your profile!!!

And now the profile (and yes, I removed my own age from the above message for my own privacy)...

50 • M • Monterey Park, CA 

My self-summary

Being outgoing, I'm going to seek a new friend and make this a more exciting and memorable year. I'll try anything at least once as long as it's safe. So I'm at a point where I would like to expand my horizons and I'd love to find a special friend to share it all.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want to take the time to court a woman. Learn all that I can to please her and make her happy. Holding hand, giving hugs and smiles, cuddling and just being there for her needs. I want to be there for her if she is sick, bring her flowers or care packages. I'll be there for the ups and downs in any relationship. Good or bad, I'm in it for the long run. a friend for life.

There are so many things that I would love to share
You will find me to be very straightforward to any reply or questions you may have. What you see is what you get. If I say I will do or be somewhere, you can count on me to following through. My word is my bond.

I'm easy going and easy to please, fit and healthy, active, non smoker of any kind, D/D free and well educated. I'm looking forfriends first with potential for a LTR. As much as I love sex, you won't find me jumping into bed real quick. I truly believe that you're a better lover if you really know the person. So I want to get to know you to please you. I'm open to any age and race. A lot has to do with the chemistry, mental and physical attraction. I really want to spend quality time getting to know you, spending time seeing the sights of LA, sharing quiet nights and fun adventurous days together. I love a good joke and having a sense of humor is important to me.

When I'm not working, I like to do home improvement projects, camping, see museums and visiting parks. In the summer time, I volunteer at the Hollywood Bowl. I'd like to get back into bikingand racquetball ( it's getting harder to find courts though) andarchery.

I have anopen marriage and my wife is very understanding and flexible with this arrangement and I hope you are too. So I hope to hear from you. We are open to various relationship from friends to friends with benefits or more. So let's start off as friends and go from there.

I am outgoing, straightforward, and dependable

What I’m doing with my life

I'm trying to make the most of my life by setting goal. Life is short and there is so much I'd like to see and do. By better time management and maximizing the resources that I have, I'm looking to live my life to the fullest potential. I'm also keeping an open mind to learn something everyday for every situation, because learning never stops.

I’m really good at

Being a loyal friend, stretching a dollar in this economy, being dedicated (to friends and job), fixing thing around the house or car, recycling, crunching numbers, packing things away neatly to make it fit, and not getting lost, procrastinating, but getting the job done.

The first things people usually notice about me

I haven't really asked too many people what they notice about me. But if I had to say something, it'd be that I always have asmile on. I have a positive attitude.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I haven't had the luxury to read very much. But the books that I do have is mostly home improvement/ DIY and trade books. I'm open to most movies and music. I like every thing fromdocumentaries and even romance movies to cuddle up. I like to try different ethic foods. I'm always up to trying new foods

The six things I could never do without

1. Family and Friends
2. My Health
3. Freedom / Time to do the things that I like
4. Money (not to sound materialistic, but to be financial secure)
5. Love and sex
6. Having a partner to share my life with,

Now for the other six
1. My Car
2. Computer and Internet
3. A good Book
4. A garage
5. Home Depot
6. the weekend

I spend a lot of time thinking about

I think about how to improve myself and how to better my life for my loved ones. Where I'll be in 5, 10 years, hopefully planning on retiring to do more traveling and exploring

On a typical Friday night I am

When school is in session for my kids, I'm active with scouting and other school functions. During summer, it's more movies, out for dinner, the occasional road trip or just staying in

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

Aside from the fact that I have an open marriage and my wife is open to many possibilities as well. I'll have no secrets once we're friends and you get to know me/us better. So let's get to know each other:)

I’m looking for

• Girls who like guys
• Ages 40–65
• Near me
• For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

You should message me if

You are open minded and adventurous.
You would like to walk along the seashore under the stars
You want to go camping or stargazing
Or see musicals or movie matinees
You like kissing and cuddling on rainy nights
You like picnics in the park and museums
You into biking or running
You like staying home and watching a movie or cooking together
You like going on cruises or hiking
You don't mind road trips to the desert or mountains
You will let me give you foot or back rubs.
What matter most is that we develop a friendship first and we can then pursue more later.

Is this guy an ESL drop out?

We all have a lot of special gifts and unfortunately the ability to learn new languages quickly is not one of mine. So I do have some empathy for the gentleman below however there are so many things wrong with his profile beyond his grasp of the English language that I couldn't pass up sharing this hot mess. I've started the post below with the "insightful" message he sent to me. Do you think he was trying to say "Hi Hon"? Listen up guys, even if English is your first language we generally don't respond to messages like that. Show that you read our profile and comment on something, ANYTHING! Enough of that - now it's time to meet...


nolucho - 36, Los AngelesMessage - Hi, huz

My self-summary

IMPORTANT NOTE:

I BEEN SPEAKING ENGLISH PER 5 YEARS, IF YOU SEE SOME SPELLING MISTAKES, BE THOUGFULL, IM NOT IGNORANT, IM A VERY EDUCATED PERSON, IS THAT HAVE ONLY JUST 5 YEARS WITH A LENGUISH MAKE DIFICULT TO BE PERFECT IN SPELLING, COULD YOU? ANYWAY IM TRYING MY BEST ;)
Very simple....the true? Just looking for a new friend, that her sensuality, smarth actions and good heart push me to the limits and one day make impossible for me to keep my hands out of her ;) , and with this I don't mean casual sexual encounters or open relationship! Just the real deal, I have it before, so I can't be happy with less than that!
Who we are with out real connections?
How could you love someone beyond sex if is not your friend, real friend!!!

I love outdoor activities and art. ;)

What I’m doing with my life

Well ladies... I love traveling, extreme sports ( I'm a adrenaline junkie), I don't take my self too serious, not sentive but have feeling , loooove a good laugh and have fun.
I'm a grow man, with a real job and career, responsible. I do social work and love give a good example. Even though break some rules in a smart way is fun ;)

I work in postproduction
Surfing
Snowboarding
Educating my ugly dog "josecito"
Learning
Helping

I’m really good at

you wanna go left or right?!,.......right?!, ........... you wanna go left or right!!,........right???........ babe!!!! left or right?????!!!!............ .... ... LEEEFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! ....... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!....... (horn honk) ........ (tires screeching)..... CHRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..........................

FOUR MONTHS AFTER

........... .... .... baby, ... left or right??????, ......... .......................... .................................................................................................................... T_T .............really????...... ....... are you....... are you serious??????............do you really wanna do this again???!

The first things people usually notice about me

My strong accent.. perhaps....my English is not good,.... but my British acent is even better.......:)

Update:
I have a good English, is my grammar what's kill me.. I been told lately, that I use big and complicated words, big vocabulary, but I speak like a very educated "Yoda" (star wars)
"If talk with me you want< a good girl you most be" ;)

I have pics with and with out beard, I look very different with and with out.. so no surprises

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

technology books im a vfx and cgi supervisor and technology go fast, i use to be a professional dancer until 3 years ago so i love musical theater, i know odd, love when harry meet sally, loooove music... , i love sushi but cook sushi(. i know i know.. fake sushi consumer)

The six things I could never do without

Snowboard with out helmet.
ink my self with out a mean.
jump from the plane with out parachute.
books
Talk with my family, I have a big one!
my friends
My ugly dog...

....

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Food!! I love food..
Why hod dogs come in packs of 10 and the bread on packs of 8?!
What is my dog doing when I'm not in home, I been want put a camera in home when I'm not there, I been resisting accomplish this idea, just because I don't want see things moving alone and discover that my house could be paranormal activitie 5!!!!!..

On a typical Friday night I am

out with friends,
reading with wine
Playing music after a long work week.
love movies in the bed chilling with my dog
............ Josecito..........

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I use baby pacifier till I was 6 or 7!!!! And i loveeeeee it, my mom use to take it from me and my sister give them back to me :)!! I love my sisters!

I’m looking for

• Girls who like guys
• Ages 27–38
• Near me
• For new friends

You should message me if

Brain is my mayor aphrodisiac!!!
If you are smarter than me or challenge my brain, my body and heart will be your!
You would like meet new people
Want have fun and discover the world, or just LA :)
how i said... simple

If you know what codependency mean ;)