Looking for Mrs. Robinson

I seem to get a fair amount of emails from guys in their 20's - even more in the past few years than when I was actually closer to their age. As you can see they very much keep it classy and have excellent grammar.

__c4ryan - 25

hey hows it going? what are you up to today? would you want to cuddle and make out for a bit right now?

Basketlol - 19

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling​

Iamthetallman - 20

Hello how are you doing? might I say you are insanely gorgeous! (just had to be said) i hope you dont think its weird for me to be messaging you?

Then you get a gem like this one. He hits all of my favorite message points:

1. The grammar and spelling are awful.

2. The realness of this person and/or local location is very questionable. 

3. If he is real, he is obviously looking for sex in the most RESPECTFUL way possible. 

Sorry boys, I won't be your Mrs. Robinson. 

User name unknown – 18 (details didn’t appear to save)

Hi how are you? :-)

My name is Cristian, and without being disrespectful I would like to as if you would consider dating or be intimate with someone younger than you? Don't get me wrong idea for my question, please forgive me, I didnt mean to offend, this.

I also know what I'm asking for, and I'm being serious, and respectful about it, I'm not trying to play games, because that is not the way I'm, but yes I would like to do this, and I'm willing to show you that I'm worth the time, and that age is just a number when it come to real connection, and chemistry.

I really would like to have an opportunity like this, and I will be willing to do and please you in any way, and in whatver you like and want. If there is a connection why not right? ;-)

And don't worry you are not talking with a kid anymore, I will always be respectful about this, I just want the chance to share some time, get to know see if there is chemistry, and if we do, have fun, see what happen, and enjoy of the moment.

The One Where I Try Hinge - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

It seems that everyone is on Tinder. Dating apps will likely replace sites in the next few years though I wasn't sure if they were for me. I was reading about a few different apps late last year and decided to give Hinge a try. The big selling point was that everyone was a friend of a friend or a third degree friend. You would see how you were connected on the app and since it was connected to Facebook the fake profile thing would be a moot point. I've come to learn this isn't much different than the way Tinder works other than I think this site has less of a "hook up" reputation. 

So have you tried Hinge? I'll tell you a little about my experience and you can decide for yourself if it is something for you. Don't worry, I have some stories for you too!

My experience

I would say that Hinge isn't too much different from a dating site. The biggest differences is that it is all through your phone and you know very little about the person before deciding if you are interested. I was very unsure about that at first as I like to try to size up someone a bit more before contacting them. I eventually got over it as you can't move forward to the next person until you either approve (heart) or eliminate (X) the last one. 

Of course this leads into a negative that it shares with dating sites but is magnified. You will match with tons of people you will never talk to. Neither side may reach out, you might receive an email and realize they aren't for you and vice versa. I don't find that I am meeting more or less people this way so it's pretty much a wash. Will I keep trying it? Sure, when I have some free time, want to play on my phone, and have caught up on my Facebook feed. It is a good distraction while waiting in line!

Now for my stories!

The Good....

I think that "good" should probably be in quote marks based on the result. Connected with an interesting guy the first of the year. We had a great phone conversation and I was actually looking forward to our date (if you know me, this is very rare). When we met up we had a really nice time and a rather long first date - probably five hours and multiple locations. My date was very affectionate - putting his arm around me, taking my hand when we were walking, etc. Not typical first date behavior but I thought we were hitting it off so I went with it. During our date he told me about another woman he had gone out with that thought he came on too strong. Should have been my red flag. We texted that night after our date and when texting about setting up another date he told me that he didn't feel enough chemistry with me. Okay, I might not have been his cup of tea, he might be dating lots of girls, etc but at LEAST come up with a better excuse than THAT! You don't spend that much time and show that much affection if you don't feel any chemistry. Hell, I've felt ZERO chemistry and gone out with guys again to see if after the awkwardness of the first date cleared if something might develop. Once it did so I always try to keep an open mind. Clearly there was something fishy going on with him and I'm pretty sure I dodged a bullet here. 

The Bad....

The first guy I went out with on Hinge seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders. We made plans and talked about meeting up in the Miracle Mile area - at least that's what I thought. As I was trying to make my way home in horrible traffic from a meeting in Santa Monica, we chatted about where we were going to meet that night. He acted like I had suggested Mars when I brought up Miracle Mile and then suggested Santa Monica. Are you kidding me? I just told you how I'm driving home from there now. Do you think I am going to turn around and drive right back? I tried to put that past me and we met in Beverly Hills instead. Nice enough guy, we shared some food, had some drinks and then he told me about his MOTHER ISSUES. Including all of his therapy that has helped him deal with them. Really? On a first date? I probably would have given him another chance (see above) but when my friend called and asked if I wanted to go to Yogurtland on the way home I realized I was about 1000% more excited about that. Neither of us called each other which I chalk up to a Hinge win!

The Ugly....

This guy was another early match on Hinge. Like many of these guys, he was a little lazy and would only respond to my emails but not start a conversation. I should have walked away then since later I couldn't silence him. We decided to move our communication off of Hinge and started texting. I was at the eye doctor with dilated eyes and told him we could just talk via phone that night. He still kept texting and suggested that while my vision was impaired was a great time for us to meet up. When I spoke with him that night, I got the impression that we just weren't likely to be all that compatible based on the things he was saying and how he was saying them. Both via email and on our call he was really pushing to get together that Saturday. I was already committed to something all day and into the evening but suggested we reconnect on Sunday to figure out when we could meet up. He texted me FOUR times on Saturday. Twice in the afternoon that said "Bungalow" (a bar in Santa Monica) and "Come Here". Then twice that night asking me how my night was including one at 2.30am.

After that I decided that my instincts were correct and this guy was not for me. When I didn't hear from him for a week or so I figured he got the hint. How wrong I was.... Over the course of the next two months, he friended me on Facebook twice (declined the first, blocked the second), emailed me through the app (blocked), and texted a few times including another 2.30am one that said "Come visit". Keep in mind I NEVER MET THIS GUY. Finally when he texted to wish me a "Happy New Year" I finally told him to stop texting me. Which he did - after he sent a few more texts to apologize and let me know he deleted my number. Not totally a stalker but what did this guy think he was going to accomplish? I hadn't responded to him in months!

So those are my stories. Everything else Hinge has been boring. Have you tried it out? What are your experiences?

Apparently I am an older man magnet!

Obviously the "fine gentlemen" that I shared with you earlier this week are not real (and possibly not even men) but they do share something in common with today's message - apparently I look like a woman that likes significantly older men. This email is clearly a "cut and paste" message that Joel is sending to lots of ladies hoping to get a hit. I like how he throws in international travel - is that meant to weed out the gold diggers or help him attract some sweet young thing? Oh, and he lives in Oregon so there's that. Enjoy!

simpletalk00
54·M·Lake Oswego, OR

Hello,

An Epiphany -
I know I am outside your geographic wheelhouse, but transitioning to an empty nester I realized that my best partner may not be near me, so I decided to search in LA with better weather and where one of my daughters is going to LMU in LA. In short it rains too much in the NW, Portland is small, and it is time to move. The good news is I have my youngest daughter half the time so I am free to be in LA the other half (every other week), probably more then you have time for…

I'll be down in LA around June 25 for my daughter's LMU orientation. How about a beverage and conversation? Two of my favorites are Lucques and Sunset Tower Bar and Grill. Have you been? Or if you are spontaneous and a risk taker, we could fly off to Belize? I know, totally gratuitous and crazy, but I'm trying to get your attention from Portland and if you have seen Portlandia, you get it. Of course I am not serious about Belize, well unless you say yes... :)

Have a great day and write back!

- Joel